It’s All About Mr Brown

Time nor tide waits for no man, goat or donkey. Mr Brown has been gone for a few weeks now with the understanding that he could come back if he wasn’t happy. The Goat Lady has provided an update that he’s been hanging out with a herd of girl deer and their calves. No shenanigans have been reported thus far, so no long eared, agile ‘donkdeer’ are anticipated. In fact the herd matriarch is ensuring there is no opportunity for rumpypumpy.

One has to feel sorry for Mr. Brown who is used to being the chaser and not the chasee. It was this image that convinced me I had to check all was truly well with him. The Goat Lady loves him very much and may not be in the best position to judge his state of mind.
I decided to recruit the support of the East Witch as she knows The Goat Lady well and as TGL is a bit of a witch herself, I didn’t want her pulling the wool over my eyes.
Spook likes witches and hanging out with the girls in general, so there was no leaving him behind.

And before we set off, I had a quick word with the goats to let them know I’d be checking out the facilities to see if it was possible for them to head west.

This was no easy ride. We were heading to the last great wilderness of Scotland and we had much to get through to reach Mr Brown.

Well - Mallaig wasn’t looking quite so wild as one might have found back in the day when the fishing boats were in dock with happy, tired, well off fishermen getting ‘fu’ and unco happy’ in the bars.

Just a sated seal, floating about in anticipation of a tasty morsel.

We chose a high powered rib for the first part of the journey. I felt that speed was of the essence.

And of course, I asked for a safety briefing and guidance to the exits should anything go wrong. I’m a nervous kind of girl. But folks don’t like upstarts looking doubtful and asking questions, so on the next, rather pared down boat, I tried to look more comfortable and less questioning.

I even went a bit Titanic.

The Goat Lady was driving this one and was a wee bit nervous as she’s quite new to driving a boat. It was important she feel we had absolute confidence in her…

Spook showed his complete and utter faith in her by looking suitably bored and checking his social media updates in a rare signal opportunity.

He said he was ‘working’.

Picking up Mr Browns fan mail is an important part of the week so we did that on the way past.

And food to sustain our efforts seemed important. Goodness knows how long the journey would take and we needed to make sure we wouldn’t go hungry.

The Goat Lady has cooked a whole lot of fish in her time but never ever fished. This seemed like a good time to start.

Lunch sorted. It reappeared later, having been cooked on a beech fired barbecue.

But we were not there yet. Another kinda boat and crew was required and I needed to take control to make sure we were on track. This was all about Mr Brown.

They may look the part, but I wasn’t convinced they were taking this seriously.

Finally, on dry land, we had one last mode of transport.

It was Spook who found the shadowy figure in the shed……..could it be?

The mysterious Mr Brown.
After all we’d been through, it was an emotional moment. Mr Brown let me rub his forelock and he nuzzled my chest before wandering off to join his girls.

But I couldn’t help feeling he’d changed. No braying and other such donkey-like behaviour. No. Something else was happening. Something far more disturbing. More Animal Farm than Dr Dolittle.

The Westerly Witch casting a spell on Mr Brown.

I can’t deny he’s looking well, but I needed to hear it from himself.

And we discussed it as a group because that also seemed important.

The only conclusion to draw is that he’s very happy. He’s clearly renewed his bond with The Goat Lady and we need to let it go. He doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable with his living conditions and in general, the scenery is quite nice.

Eventually we had to get back on the boat and return without him.

We were sad, but we have each other.

We left a happy Mr Brown and a Happy Goat Lady and her husband. And we had a really happy visit. Thanks to TGL for phenomenal food and to her and Mr Goat Lady for wonderful hospitality. And to Mel Shand the East Witch, for her wonderful documentation and interpretation of the witchy ways.