The Trouble With Mr Brown
Mr Brown turns into a fire breathing dragon at 3.30am. And 4.30 and 5am. Or at least he did, until he settled in. He resides in the field next to the goats so that he doesn’t bowl them over. He lives with Mr McFarmers sheep and lambs instead and chases them out his way when he’s in a bad mood. And he gets in a bad mood when the midges are in full flow.
“How’s his bottom?” Asked the Goat Lady on the phone
A bit dry looking, with peeling skin” says a squeamish me.
“Just rub some of that ointment on it, that I left for you - it has magical qualities.”
“Aye, right!”
Wooing a donkey is not easy. Hand applied ointment was not going to happen so I went back to the spray bottle. He hates the sound of the spray. He hates me. Part of the wooing was to let him into the field with the goats once they’d gone to bed so that he could nose them through the gate. And then put him back into bother the sheep in the morning. This worked well twice. and On the third evening we had a Mexican Stand Off. He stood in the middle of the road between the two fields and refused to go into either. He hates me. This would have been the moment to produce the spray bottle as he would definitively move somewhere, and quite fast. Eventually, when he got bored, he wandered back into the sheep field where has created a new bond with his flock. Hope it’s not too strong a bond as they do tend to move on!! And then he let me rub ointment on his bottom!!! Was he feeling guilty for having given me such a hard time?? Now Mr Brown is no trouble. Well - today.
With 8 Chooks arriving to add to the livestock we decided to get in some Security.
We got a guard dog
Introducing him to his charges has gone well so far. We have a lot of work to do to build up some of his fiercer qualities.
Pity he doesn’t seem to be able to milk goats. The Goat Ladies Husband was passing by midst relocation duties. “Wanda’s left udder is looking rather swollen so you’ll need to take some milk off.”
”Oh!”
”It’s not difficult once you get the knack” says GLH
“I’ve been known to swear a lot and sometimes cry” says The Goat Lady.
Very reassuring.
Luckily The Biology Teacher aka The Milk Maid, called by for a socially distanced catch up with her pal, Oor Princess. If we couldn’t manage to milk Wanda she could get mastitis and get sick, so we really needed to get this right. The Biology Teacher agreed to record the event in order to get feedback from GLH should it be required. “I’ve milked a cow before” she declared, “so I’m happy to step in if need be.”
Appropriate and mature video footage is available but I dont know how to add to blog so it’s on Itsmosblog Facebook. Needless to say social distancing was abandoned for the sake of Wanda’s health and The Milk Maid came to the fore.
Having only milked one cow once, this was impressive. Over half a pint collected and my stuff discarded after Wanda stood in it. No swearing or crying but heaps of giggling.
The guard dog would like some chilled and stored in his trendy kiwi bottle, Thankyou very much.
